What I Learned From Being Passed Over For Promotion (Twice)
I was 26 when I joined my 9–5 job / company. To give some context, my company has a Global footprint and approximately 25,000 employees worldwide.
I was one of the youngest managers when I first joined the team. I was doe eyed, happy, idealistic thinking that if I put in my max effort, I’d be up for promotion in the next three years. I was young, eager, and willing 12–14 hours a day, if needed.
What I thought would be a meritocratic organization, ended up being the worse moments in my life. First of all, my boss completely took advantage of the fact I was young. Instead of letting me lead my own projects or team as a manager, he diminished me. He pigeon holed me into a corner, forcing me to run running endless, useless analyses. He only had me supporting him on projects while he took credit for all my work. He was so selfish that he even avoided having me in meetings so that I wouldn’t outshine him in front of the more senior people in the organization.
Despite knowing this, I swallowed my pride and decided to stay because I had already job hopped between two companies at 26. Sooner or later, the years started passing by. 26 slowly became 27; 27 slowly became 28; And I was still in the same role. And like most millennials, I had fished around for other opportunities but with not much luck. So I stayed. And I tolerated being overlooked time and time again to avoid conflict with my boss.
Fast forward, when I turned 28, my boss abruptly left the company. He took on a new position somewhere else. I had hoped that I could have applied for his job opening. But instead of letting me apply for his empty position, HR got rid of my boss’ role and forced me to report into someone new. I was stuck once again.
I then decided to stay again for another year. By this time, I had just turned 29. And as I turned 29, A 35 year old teammate of mine (let’s name him Thomas for anonymity) had joined my company for less than a year and a half, four months of which was on paternity leave. Upon his return from paternity leave, it was announced that he had been promoted to a Director.
I was livid. I remember coming home that day, calling my parents, saying I’d quit. My ego was shattered. I had been in my role for 3.5 years, showing consistent contributions and thought leadership to the team. Once again, I had been past up for a promotion — but now, a second time.
So what did I learn from all this?
1.Promotions are not based off merit
For most companies, I learned that promotions are not based on merit. Thomas was known in the organization as being the great ass kisser there was. Great at talking — mediocre at execution. We used to make a joke he should have made a career as an MC.
The reason he got a promotion in 1.5 years was because he leveraged his previous work experience and ass kissing skills ahead. In other words, he had convinced everyone on the team that he was overqualified for his job and deserved the promotion, because of his past experience.
And for a moment in life — I had an “Aha” moment. It was the first time I saw the greatest difference between men and women. Men always talk about what they have done and will do. Women only talk about what they have done, but never what they will do.
2. Perception is everything
Warren Buffet once said that bad leaders pose the biggest risks to companies.
“You get a guy or a woman in charge of it — they’re personable, the directors like ’em — they don’t know what they’re doing. But they know how to put on an appearance. That’s the biggest single danger,” Mr. Buffett said.
Thomas was the exactly showman Buffet describes in Corporate America. Pure show — no output. A complete danger to most organizations.
So I learned the hard way — at least early on in my career — there’s no point in working hard. You most likely won’t be reward for it. Put on a good show for your boss, your boss’ and anyone senior in an organization. Make yourself sound and look good. Fake it till you make it, because chances, that’s the only version of you people are willing to see.
My hope in sharing this story is for anyone who is fed up being past for promotions, time and time again. The truth in getting ahead isn’t what you do. It’s shameless self promotion that helps people land the jobs they want.
So don’t believe the lies organizations tell you. Meritocracy (rarely) exists. Self promote the hell out of yourself and claim what you believe is yours. Because at the end of the day, in Corporate America, Perception > Reality. Meritocracy is simply a cover for the fact that nothing in the workplace is fair. At the end of the day, Corporate America is a mild version of the a Game of Thrones — when you play the game of thrones, you win (get the job) or you die (you lose).